QBQ! - Choosing to give

Originated from: QBQ!
By: John G. Miller, Author of QBQ! and Flipping the Switch

Brad Meuli and his team are a bunch of givers. They give all day long. Though it's more natural to take, somehow they've overcome normal human selfishness and have turned their focus outward like many never do. I will admit I'm pretty selfish—with my time. The hardest thing for me to do is to give my minutes and hours to others. It's an ever-present weakness that I must always work on. And I am afraid it's obvious to others too. My wife, Karen, gave me a t-shirt that says "It's All About Me!" I don't think it was a positive statement at the time. But for Brad it really is all about others.

Brad is CEO of the Denver Rescue Mission in Denver, Colorado. He and his amazing team help homeless people—mostly men—all day long. Now that's a mission. And that's why this story is so funny to me. In Brad's own words:

John, with the holiday season approaching, I am reminded of an experience I've been meaning to tell you about. Although I try hard to be a very positive guy, this is a less-than-complimentary customer service story. Last winter I was in a fast-food Mexican place that I frequent once a week. If nothing else I am a consistent customer. When I ate there that January day I noticed one of the employees had placed on my tray, with my food, a card for a free order of potato oles. It read:

Seasons' Greetings! ‘Tis the time of year to spread good cheer.

And share best wishes with those we hold dear. So we want to thank you loud and clear ...

With tasty FREE OLES to start off your year!

ONE FREE SMALL POTATO OLES. Anytime in January 2007 with this card.

This sounded great to me and I was impressed by the card so I thought I would try them. I approached a young man at the cash register, who was standing next to his manager, and I said, “Hey, I would like to try the free oles, please. Here's my card.” It suddenly got strangely quiet. Finally, the manager said, “That is for the next time you come in.” Surprised by the comment (especially coming from the manager), I stated, "But it says, 'Anytime in January 2007 with this card.'" He repeated, “It's for next time.” I then realized I was not getting any oles, at least not any free ones! Of course I was thinking maybe I should go outside, stand in their parking lot for 20 seconds, and come back in. That would then become my "next time."

In the end I felt like I had asked for something I wasn't supposed to have. No longer was I one they “hold dear.” I could only wonder to myself, What's the reason for putting out a card like this if they are not prepared to honor it?

John, I'd like to say I never went back and that this experience kept me from patronizing this restaurant forever, but it did not. I have returned there when my hunger was high, but each time my expectations were low—because I now know I am not truly valued.

Brad
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A humorous paradox: A giving man is not given his free oles. But let's not focus on the fast-food place who failed to win their customer's heart. What matters most is Brad and his staff continue to give freely of themselves toward the transformation of lives while never asking negative questions like, "Why can't these men just pull their lives together?" and "Why won't people just help themselves more?" and "When are others gonna pitch in and help the homeless too?" They just keep asking everyday, "What can I do to make a difference?" This better question is not new—and is always worth posing—but when they ask it at the Denver Rescue Mission, it seems so much more meaningful.

Our 19-year-old son, Michael, recently gave an evening to the Mission where he helped serve dinner to the hungry men and woman. As they shuffled in and out of the meal hall, he saw what true hardship is all about. And what true giving looks like. I hope giving to others is a value he will always "hold dear" since there's no other way to leave a legacy of service. I better work on that myself.

Meanwhile, to Brad I say let's do lunch and we'll have a whole bunch of potato oles—my treat. And to any of you who want to help the Denver Rescue Mission help hungry and homeless people, just visit www.denrescue.org today.