Originated from About.com
If you’ve taken steps to go back to school, you probably made the decision with those you care about foremost in your mind. In fact, you may be more worried about how to help spouses, children, friends and co-workers adjust than how to make the transition smoother for yourself.
Now the greatest challenge, one that can change your life for the better during school and beyond, is learning to say NO! To help you get comfortable with the idea that it’s okay to be a little “selfish,” here are seven guilt free “NO” proclamations. Use them to effectively manage your time and achieve your educational goals:
1. NO, I will not be cooking tonight.
I have purchased a healthy meal on the way home. We’ll eat well, and I’ll have two extra hours to study without having to cook or clean up.
- Guilt-free pass:
Of course you don’t want your family trudging through years of higher education on a diet of double cheeseburgers and cola. However, a good meal doesn’t have to involve you bent over a stove, economics book in one hand, wok in the other. In this age of convenience and health consciousness, there are a number of healthy pre-cooked or restaurant meals at your fingertips. Plan your meals ahead and ask your family to help you, to keep them from feeling forgotten.
I am back in school. With my new degree, I will be able to get a job with a better company that may want to sponsor us one day. I’ll help where I can. Good luck!
- Guilt free pass:
One standard about active communities is that the person who raises the most funds will be named fundraising chairperson for life! However, this is not a government post. Although you will feel some guilt for “abandoning” the position, you can still help by giving your successor process advice, introductions to your most generous sponsors, and your encouragement.
Mom/Dad is going to go instead. He’ll/she’ll cheer just as hard as I would, and you will still get taken out for ice cream after. I’ll be looking forward to hearing all about it when you get home!
- Guilt free pass:
We all want to do everything for our children. Sometimes, what they need the most comes in another form, like the increased income (hence, college tuition) that will come from advanced education. Prepare the kids by talking to them before you go back to school. Schools and teams publish schedules well in advance, so you can pre-plan the events you will participate in.
I do have my reports, ready ahead of schedule. I’d be happy to stay later tomorrow.
- Guilt free pass:
Have a long talk with your boss ahead of time, to set expectations for late nights and deadlines before school begins.
I’ll be studying all weekend. I probably won’t be available many weekends this semester. I’ll be glad to help you when I complete my studies, but you’d better find another person in the meantime.
- Guilt free pass:
If somebody relies on your services a lot, help them find someone else before you’re no longer available.
I’d love to, but I won’t have much down time until after exams. I hope you’ll take a rain check, because I’ll need someone to celebrate with when I finish school!
- Guilt free pass:
No one wants to lose a friend to other friends or new lifestyles. Some adults have a tougher time than kids with this adjustment. Try having a back to school celebration at the beginning of the year, to show friends they are still a special part of your life, and then ask for their understanding, as you won’t be available as much.
I know I have a tight schedule, but I need to let my hair down for a few hours; I’m on overload!
- Guilt free pass:
The flip side to the previous “NO”; it is important to remember to say yes sometimes — to yourself. You are making enough sacrifices to reach your goal, without needing to make yourself miserable. Going back to school is a good thing, and a great experience. As long as it may seem, it will be over before you know it; so make the memories great by allowing yourself some treats!
These are very reasonable things to say NO to; you’re not asking anyone to do anything they’re incapable of. One trap to avoid is hero syndrome. You may not realize it, but even those who claim to feel totally put upon can secretly feel like there is no one else for the job. You can get in your own way by thinking that the house will crumble if you step aside. Be sure not to let your ego cause you to stay overwhelmed.
Before you can fully immerse yourself in the world of adult education, you have to be alright with doing something for the most important person in your life… YOU. It’s a tall order, asking people to do without you for awhile so that you can make some positive changes. But before you know it, everyone will learn something new about themselves.
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